Here’s My contribution to #ShareTheLoad Movement with Ariel India
Being a 22 year old grown up girl, I always failed to develop good relationship with my mother ever since my father passed away. It might look like a tragedy to you, but it’s the reality of my life. I have no male member in my family and I’m the eldest. Yes, I have a family of three – me, my mom and my sister.
Now this is going really personal when I decided not to post anything about my life on my blog which I run professionally, but I don’t know why the first thing that came in my mind when I read this hashtag #ShareTheLoad was my life’s story itself.
This lockdown brought several changes in my life, starting from bad to worse and sad to saddest but this lockdown time has been the time I survived my biggest breakdown of life. I got my breakup done with some shit things where I was about to end it all, about to give up but then I realized that I have two people to look after. Actually, I did not realize it, corona made me realize that, lol.
I might look insane but I just imagined my mother roaming in the hospitals fighting for my life when I had almost decided to give up.
My bedsheet was tired of being messed up by the level of extreme discomfort I faced.
I thought of my mother, I thought of this disease, it’s vulnerability and I stood up again with the help of my few people who never gave up on me. But, I could not share it all.
I mean do you feel my helplessness?
I do things for my mother and I can’t even tell her, explain her because we are probably two humans in a house that’s it. But i want to express this, ShareTheLoad !!
Lockdown was not just a break down, both a very essential time where I actually survived with my mother and sister in a house for hours otherwise we would have been buzy in our own life of college, school and so on.
Atleast we were together. After I decided not to give up, I changed my priorities to work, for me it was all work!
I wasn’t close to my mother but I worked for her. I wanted to support her. I somehow knew I hurt her and maybe I’m just incapable of supporting her emotionally but I will help her financially. My mind was probably not stable but I fought, I did everything whatever worked!
I’m participating in campaigns, working on my blog, learning and probably trying to be happy. If I’m happy, I’ll make my family happy anyhow, I know that. I gifted her a phone with my own earning in this lockdown, that was my first gift to her. She didn’t express it, but I knew she was happy. We still have differences and I’m still in bad shape but I am trying to fulfill her expectations everyday – I’m trying to help her in household work but I’m a big moodie!
We aren’t close till the date, but things did improve with time – call it my relationship with her or anything else.
I don’t really commit of the surprising and amusing realizations with my family, but atleast we survived it all together. Sometimes unity says it all- starting from a cup of tea in morning to the little efforts made without showing.
Because I don’t really believe in showing, I believe in doing things without counting them.
And well, I had another addition to my family too. Rashi, my buddy – she had been there with me all over this breakdown and she is no less than my family to me. Sometimes hard times actually reveal the people who are true to you. So here’s the ShareTheLoad entry of my mind.
Distance really couldn’t manage to keep us away because it’s 21st century and the era of technical development, video call works for both of us. She was important before too, but ever since we survived this breakdown, our bond is stronger than before.
My personal realization over this lockdown was probably being a messed up person. I have so many things in me that I keep in, I pretend and there’s a need to express it all.
I dont have any spectacular men in my life but I have spectacular woman whom I call as my mother.
Since it was mentioned to share pictures of men helping in laundary, but i dont have any ideal man in my life, that’s how I sketch my cartoon ideal man, because I’m not going to fake it!
ShareTheLoad should be real enough, No?
Another point I want to mention is that I didn’t cook this lockdown except putting rice in water for boiling them, lol!
All I did was bringing my broken pieces together, fixing them up and being fine. Isn’t that a great job?
Let me tell you one more thing, I’m writing this blog with 3% battery in my phone as I am saving for a laptop, do you feel my load?
So this blogpost is my attempt to ShareTheLoad with you all, just by expressing in words. It might look fake but it actually isn’t.
I went on a path to earn money so that at any time I am capable enough to manage any circumstances in ongoing situation. And that’s my ShareTheLoad entry, Financially.
But it’s never too late, no?
#ShareTheLoad #ShareTheLaundary #ShareChoresMultiplyLove .
Oops, I guess it’s getting emotional, you need to smile – let me make your visit on my blog beautiful by giving you reasons to smile 🙂 !
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